Usually, self-sabotaging behavior takes hold of people’s lives, and they do not even realize it. They attribute it to stress, common sense considerations, and ‘objective’ assessment of the possible struggles. Self-sabotaging behavior is deeply interconnected with self-esteem and the way a particular person perceives the world. Thus, self-sabotaging behavior should be treated as an outcome of inadequate functioning of these two. Before jumping into conclusions and trying to eradicate the ‘plague,’ it would be helpful to specify its concrete manifestations and ways one can deal with it effectively. Looking ahead, it is not a piece-of-cake kind of solution. It requires a fair amount of self-control and discipline to pull the lever of success knowingly but it is not impossible, so there are ten ways to stop self-sabotaging your success down the page.
Some Time for Psychology
Nota bene! A person self-sabotages their possible success each time they let hesitation in and confidence out. Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? It is totally fine even if you have never-ever or it is something on the tip of your tongue, but you cannot recall the meaning. It is okay because you have certainly felt it. Law of attraction is simple, and it says that a person receives exactly what they are thinking about. That is if one thinks about money, they will soon make a fortune. Sounds infeasible? Perhaps a bit unfair, too. No need to feel scandalized, it is not a scientifically proven fact. However, what is scientifically proven is that each moment people process a multitude of thoughts the content of which affects their mood and productivity. When one goes through a break-up, and the memory of some person occupies all their thoughts, the chance they will show an outstanding efficiency score is sooner low than high unless it is a coping mechanism. But it is not the topic of today’s discussion. What we discuss today is how our thoughts are capable of shaping our reality.
It is common knowledge that one needs twenty-one days precisely to develop a habit. It does not matter whether you want to knit, to read fifteen pages of a psychological journal before falling asleep, learn Korean, or start dancing hip hop tomorrow morning, you know. It still needs you to repeat the same action for twenty-one day to get it into the state of habit where you are entirely comfortable with the action and do not feel the need to flex your willpower muscle to execute it. Now try to recall exactly how many times thoughts about failure, the futility of any effort, and self-doubt have visited you this month? You are in danger of falling into the vicious circle of despair if you cannot remember thinking about certain success, prosperity, and harmony on a daily basis. If you ever think of success from the perspective that someone else owns it while you were never ‘cut out for it,’ then, well, you are never going to have it.
It is critical to understand we all are meant to shine, and those who believe it do shine. Also, no one in the world was ever born with a manual on how to become a star or a successful person. It is only your the attitude towards the world, your work, and yourself what defines your successfulness. Let the amount responsibility not scare you but inspire to make amendments if you feel like you have been sabotaging own success for a while. Err is human, and that alone puts some pressure off your shoulders. If you are capable of loving yourself genuinely, that is you know your personality well, you respect your work and stances, invest in self-improvement and are responsible for your actions, then you know what ‘love yourself’ means. You will never let yourself down. And you will believe that you deserve only the best things in this life because you know that you are a good person who deserves taking and giving love, a decent living and personal happiness along with material comfort.
The Best Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success
Finally, were are ready to perceive the ten ways to stop self-sabotaging your success.
- Treat yourself like a friend. Of course, you genuinely think that your friends are amazing people and deserve happiness. It is OK if they need some time alone, and it is OK when they need, care, love, and support. You respect them and want them to thrive. Also, you are comfortable with them and don’t try to run from their company. Treat yourself as you treat your best friends.
- Praise yourself. For everything you do. For being such a nice person. It is easy to be proud of yourself when you do just what you think is the right thing to be done.
- Always think of the next right move. Life is complicated, but you should be aware of what you want and act accordingly to get it.
- Never crucify yourself if something went wrong. All make mistakes, try to explain to yourself why you failed instead, not just ‘I’m a total screw-up.’
- Your attempts, your mistakes, your failures, and your wins comprise your rewarding experience.
- Take your time just a little bit every day. 10-15 minutes is enough. What you should do is to refer to yourself with the kindest words that pop up in your mind, for example, “I love you. You are the sweetest person in the whole world. You are beautiful. Would you smile for me? How are you feeling? You did so well today. You are rocking this place! You are the world to me.” Tell yourself everything you longed to hear. Repeat every day and remember there is nothing wrong if your priorities change when you gain more confidence. The point of such monologues is to understand what is important to you right at the moment, your subconscious worries, and eventually to know yourself better. Knowledge forges confidence.
- Mirror exercise! It is somewhat similar to the previous one but provides an immediate result. Here, you need to look yourself in the eyes and say ‘Wow! You look stunning today. Your hair is perfectly styled; your outfit is on fleek. I like what I see.’ Do this each time you catch a glimpse of your face in the mirror. Just like in the I Feel Pretty (in case you didn’t see it, the protagonist was happy with the result).
- Hush your inner pessimist. Each time your tongue slips, and you accidentally pronounce ‘I can’t do it’ (unless it is about hurting an animate creature, yourself included), do yourself a favor and substitute it with ‘Hey! I’m down to it.’
- Learn to get compliments, your work well-paid, and your thoughts well-arranged.
- Respect all people (yourself included) because in such a manner you show you acknowledge their uniqueness as human beings, and it is the acknowledge what makes people successful. No matter what image you have, a sustainable, attractive, and worthy person makes a near perfect candidate to whatever business they have.
Patrick Reeves is a blogger and content writer. Also likes to travel. He has been writing for several magazines and online resources. Currently, he is writing for Assignment.EssayShark resource that provides homework assignment help for students. He dreams of publishing his own non-fiction book.
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Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.